Silent Casualties: Children Suffer as Divorce Quietly Rises in Nigeria

August 7, 2025 Blessing Dada

Silent Casualties: Children Suffer as Divorce Quietly Rises in Nigeria

While Nigeria’s divorce rate edges upward to 2.9%, the consequences go far beyond courtrooms. Beneath the legal proceedings lies a growing humanitarian concern children of broken marriages now face a silent crisis.

This concern came to the forefront at the 2025 Family Law Conference in Ikeja, Lagos, where legal experts, policymakers, and child rights defenders gathered to examine the toll divorce is taking on young lives.

A Growing Crisis Hidden in Statistics

In a compelling address, Mrs. Oluwatoni Ladipo, who heads the Family and Child Justice Unit at the Lagos State Office of the Public Defender, painted a disturbing picture.

“Children are often hailed as the leaders of tomorrow, yet when marriages collapse, we leave them behind,” she said to a full audience.

Citing recent statistics from the World Population Review, she revealed that Nigeria’s divorce rate, while seemingly modest, ranks among the fastest growing globally. In cities like Lagos, Abuja, and Ibadan, divorces are being filed in increasing numbers triggered by infidelity, domestic abuse, poor communication, and unmet emotional needs.

But the real damage, Ladipo warned, is not recorded in legal paperwork but in the quiet struggles of children battling trauma behind closed doors.

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Emotional and Academic Fallout

In Nasarawa State’s Keffi LGA, a local survey revealed that more than 60% of children from divorced families displayed aggressive behavior. Many reported anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Their ability to build healthy social relationships also suffered.

Other regions told a similar story. In Cross River and Enugu States, separation often leads to falling grades, increased school dropout rates, and long-term academic disengagement.

“These children are not broken they’re wounded,” Ladipo said. “And society fails them again by ignoring their pain.”

Culture of Silence and Stigma

In Nigeria, family issues rarely stay private. Divorce becomes a public spectacle, and children of separated parents often bear the social consequences.

“They are labelled as troublemakers or morally weak,” Ladipo explained. “This perception is not only wrong it’s dangerous.”

She condemned the culture that shames children for their family situation and noted that many grow up believing something is inherently wrong with them.

Even mental health struggles are misinterpreted. In some rural areas, psychological trauma is dismissed as spiritual weakness. Instead of receiving therapy, children are subjected to traditional remedies that can be harmful.

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Systemic Gaps and Legal Hurdles

Despite the Child Rights Act of 2008, Ladipo pointed out that outdated customary practices and patriarchal beliefs still guide many custody decisions especially in rural communities.

“Custody rulings often prioritize gender, social status, or tradition over the child’s well-being,” she said.

In Sokoto, children of divorced women are pulled from school, denied inheritance rights, and even rejected by extended families.

To address these issues, Ladipo called for urgent reform mental health integration in schools, community education, and harmonized legal frameworks for custody cases.

Not About Ownership, But Well-being

Professor Ayodele Atsenuwa, Deputy Vice-Chancellor of the University of Lagos, delivered the keynote address. Her message: custody is not about control it’s about care.

“When parents fall apart, the law must rise to protect the child,” she said.

She outlined the various custody models used in Nigeria from sole and joint custody to split and third-party arrangements. Citing legal cases like Lawson v Lawson and Nwuba v Nwuba, she explained how courts determine custody based on the child’s best interest not tradition.

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Access and the Right to Belong

She also emphasized the rights of non-custodial parents. Even without full custody, a parent is entitled to remain informed about the child’s health, schooling, and emotional development.

“Visitation isn’t a favor it’s a legal and emotional right,” she said. “Children deserve to know both parents, regardless of the marital outcome.”

She warned against using access rights as a tool for revenge, stating that children should never be used to score points in post-divorce conflicts.

Time for a National Rethink

Both speakers agreed that Nigeria must urgently shift its mindset from shaming broken families to supporting them. Reforms must reach classrooms, courtrooms, and communities.

Among the recommendations: